This week’s blog is written by a Namchak Learning Circle member and meditator who is doing his best to keep a calm and balanced mind.
At 6 a.m. my alarm rings. I put my clothes on, go in the washroom to shave, and get ready for the day by…sitting down and closing my eyes. I open my meditation app, chose the meditation of the day, and follow the instructions.
No need to think, I know this is good for me. I felt the benefits of daily practice. I also felt my old self creeping back when I skip several days. I prefer myself centered, calmer, able to see my thoughts for what they are: just ideas that my mind creates instead of orders that I feel compelled to follow.
So, I listen to the teacher guiding me through the meditation. I put forth the intention of not getting uptight about this exercise. Even if I get totally distracted by the stories in my head for the duration of the meditation, I will at least have one moment of awareness, just after he says, “Thank you for coming to this meditation.” I will then realize, “Ah yes, I was meditating” and this is the big payoff of my practice: the moment I realize I was so entranced by the stories in my mind that I forgot where I was. So I open my eyes and I go on with my day.
Sometimes I have flashes of my meditation exercises, mini moments of awareness where I realize where I am, what I am doing. I pop out of my obsessive self and see clearly what/who is around me. This feels good, like I’ve connected fully to my experience of the moment. Then, after 10 seconds, I go back in my head and continue my day. This happens very sporadically, but Eh, it happens! Sometimes more often, sometimes less. And that’s ok! I know I am having another practice tonight once the kids are in bed. I will keep mentally working out with my meditation practice because I know from experience that it is good for me.
Published on May 02 09 : 00 am