From years of retreat facilitation, here are the most common meditation questions our teachers answer — and what actually helps students progress.
Meditation Tips for Beginners and Beyond
How do I start meditating?
When you’re a beginner to meditation, focus on one practice at a time. It’s tempting to try to learn multiple types of meditation at once, but there’s a lot of value in doing one practice at a time. We know that multi-tasking isn’t efficient, and it’s similar with meditation practice. In Calm Abiding or Shamata, for example, you are only trying to focus your mind single-pointedly on an object, and if you are shifting your attention to other things like observing sensations or trying to see their impermanence, emptiness, and so forth, you are not practicing Calm Abiding.
How can I get better at meditating?
Give your full effort to the meditation technique at hand. This is also important in how you discuss your practice with your teacher. If you’re practicing Calm Abiding, but in your discussions with your teacher, you talk about many different practices, your teacher won’t be able to give you clear advice on how to improve in your Calm Abiding practice. So, in the way you practice and the way you discuss your practice, stick with the practice as it was taught to you.
Here's another way to think about it. If you are sick and want to get better, you need to see a doctor. Once you’ve seen a doctor, you need to take the medicine they have prescribed as directed. Getting their advice and not acting on it probably won’t lead to getting better. Similarly, you have a dharma (Buddhist) teacher and receive their advice and instructions, so it’s important to put those into practice. When you do, make a great effort to practice them just as they were taught without mixing them with other methods you’ve read or heard elsewhere.
In the example above, it’s like seeing a doctor, getting their prescriptions, and then researching your illness on YouTube or WebMD. And we all know the black hole that can be, right?! Then you could end up doing other practices, which may or may not be of any benefit to the practice you’re currently trying to learn. Our minds swirl with more than enough distractions on the cushion as it is. The simpler and more focused we can make our course of practice, the more focused each meditation can be.
How can I find motivation to meditate?
Be patient with yourself and resist harsh self-judgment. A little gentleness with yourself can go a long way. All of us have been habituated to non-stop distraction and thinking for our whole lives (as well as in our past lives). You can't expect to overcome that in just a few days, weeks, or even months of meditation.
When you get distracted in meditation, notice that you are distracted and immediately come back to your object. Resist judgment and criticism. Instead, you could slightly celebrate, thinking, “Though I almost never notice my constantly roaming mind, just now I had enough awareness to catch it in the act!” Then enjoy another mini-celebration at not having to think about that (or anything else) right now, and at settling into the fresh stillness of Shamata.
Self-critical thoughts are more thinking, a/k/a further distraction, and only reinforce our habituation to thinking. Noticing that we are distracted, and immediately returning to our object increases the power of our mindfulness and alertness. The more we do that, the less power distracting thoughts have over us—at first on the cushion, and later, in everyday life!
What should I know about meditative experiences?
Of course, we can’t give you everything you need to know about meditation in one blog. But you will want to be aware of meditative experiences. If you have some good experiences of stability, clarity, joy, non-conceptuality, and so forth, know that your next session may not be the same. That expectation itself will prevent you from being entirely focused on your practice. Yet that very focus is what will bring about a stable meditative state where such experiences can occur. Ironically, if you want good experiences, let go of the hope or expectation that they will occur and focus entirely on the technique itself. If you begin having such experiences regularly, it is important to share that with your teacher and receive further instructions.
Last and perhaps the most important of the tips: as students progress along the Vajrayana (Tibetan Buddhist) path, we recommend that they work closely with and receive teachings from qualified teachers.
Tips for Working with a Spiritual Teacher
The Buddha achieved enlightenment and taught the path to enlightenment, but unfortunately, we did not get to meet him or receive his teachings. With only books describing this path to guide us, we will likely encounter all kinds of obstacles, take wrong turns, misinterpret signs, and hit dead ends. If we really want to make progress on the path, we must rely on a teacher who has already gone significantly further than we have to get the guidance we need.
In the video below, teacher and Tibetan Translator, Justin Kirkwood discusses how to navigate the Buddhist path with a spiritual teacher.
Three Ways to Delight Your Teacher
In classical Buddhist texts, it is said that there are three ways to delight your teacher. The first and most basic way is to give material gifts, such as food, clothing, and so forth. The second is to offer your assistance or service. This could include cleaning a classroom or temple, making dinner, helping organize teachings, and so on. The third and supreme way is to do your practice.
Your teacher has devoted their life to helping students to wake up—a work that is near and dear to their heart. If you practice, what else could make them happier? Their life is being well spent.
As translator and teacher, Justin Kirkwood, said, “In all my 10-plus years of translating for private interviews or one-on-one sessions for many Tibetan Buddhist teachers, I have never seen my teachers more pleased than when a student comes for an interview and says that they have been consistently doing the practice they were given and asks for advice and further clarification about it, rather than asking for job or general lifestyle advice, or talking about a wondrous dream or vision they had.”
How to Make the Most of a One-on-One Teacher Interview
That doesn’t mean that there is never a time in your relationship with a teacher to ask for other kinds of advice. Often, your time during a retreat is very limited, so it’s ideal to stay focused on your teacher’s specialty. At most of our retreats with Khen Rinpoche, students have the opportunity to meet with him one-on-one to ask questions and receive advice. The following guidelines were developed specifically for those sessions but may also be applied to working with a spiritual teacher.
- Try to keep your questions focused on the current stage of practice you are working on, from the instructions you have received from that teacher.
- If you are meeting a teacher for the first time, give them a brief summary of your practice experience and studies, and what other teachers or traditions you have studied... You don’t need to, and you normally don’t have time, to share your whole life story. Try to keep it to basically a short meditation résumé, so they can get a sense of where you are in your practice experience and how they can help you. If you’re part of or joining a sangha—a community, you can share your life stories there to your heart’s content!
- If the techniques of a practice are unclear, asking for those details is critical. If you feel stuck in terms of becoming more focused (less distracted) or more clear-minded, you’ll want to ask about that or any obstacles you’re experiencing.
- When your teacher asks how your practice is going or how your mind is feeling during your practice, what they want to know is: How long can you stay with the object before you get distracted? When thoughts come up, can you quickly return to the object, or do you get caught up in them? What are the qualities of your mind in meditation? For example, is your mind feeling vibrant, sharp, alert, clear, or maybe dull, sleepy, unclear, open, closed, etc.? If you are working with a visualization, how clear is it? Do you feel that the lama/deity/buddha is actually there, or does it feel contrived?
If you try all of these tips and work from these understandings, we are sure you’ll find that your practice progresses all the more quickly, will be more satisfying, and you’ll enjoy the rewards of it in all areas of your life. Keep an eye on our events and join a Learning Circle to start practicing with others!
We’d love to hear your questions or tips that have been helpful to you. Send them our way and email info@namchak.org.
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